I am aware that I haven't written for ages - I have had my wonderful Mum staying for a week which has been brilliant and a huge thank you to my brother, his wife and their youngest for bringing her up last Saturday! I really am grateful for Mum coming up each time I have an appointment - there are just some conversations you cannot have over the phone! Thank you Dad for coming up to collect her and it was lovely to see you.
I had my results appointment on Tuesday which, to my mind, went well or as well as these things can. Apparently I have the type of cancer that has a negative response to Herceptin which is good as it means it is slightly less aggressive. Other tests show that it is very sensitive to Tamoxifen, which is also very good as this is the drug of choice for me to take for five years after the chemotherapy and radiotherapy has finished. To those in the know, my cancer scored 7 out of 8 in sensitivity to Tamoxifen. 1 short of perfect!!!!!
The other side of all this good news is of course not quite so good, some would say bad but I refuse to be bowed. The histology showed that of the 22 lymph nodes removed, a mere 21 showed signs of infection. But hey, they are all goen now. Disection of the tissue showed that the original 6mm area that had the biopsies taken from was in fact only one of many similar areas of infection spread throughout the breast with a primary area of infection 5cm across. Scarily, because of my age (38 to clear up any doubt out there) and the denser tissue in a younger breast, it is not unusual that none of these showed up on the mammogram. Thank goodness they found something in the ultrasound, took the biopsy and aspirated the lymph node when they did. The consultant said that it could have started up to a year ago.
All girls out there - check yourselves and be aware of ANYTHING that looks/feels unusual and make sure that you know what IS normal for you.
As the chemotherapy approaches I am now in two minds whether to bother with the cold cap when having my treatment. This consists of a plastic shower type cap that is full of literally freezing water. You have to wear it for an hour prior to treatment, during the treatment and then for two hours afterwards. The idea is that it reduces the take up of the drug by the hair follicles. It could work, might work or won't work and you don't know until you try it.
Now, I know I am being pathetic about this - I know the treatments are only once every three weeks so not like I would have to wear it every day but it is not guaranteed to work and I almost feel I need to shed my hair as part of the beating cancer process to celebrate being fit and healthy again with a new crop of hair.
What do you think?
That's a toughie. Firstly, you don't need go out of your way to look like a 'C' patient in order for friends and loved ones to feel for what you're going through. You yourself know how much love and support you've received just from the Mums at the gate! From what little I know about such things (and I have to say thankfully) you may feel like shit anyway so why not wear a funny hat to top it all? Easy for me to say this as I'm not you. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you.
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