So I am back. Again. Thank goodness.
It has taken me this long to post another blog as I struggle a bit emotionally when I think about how ill I felt during the last bout of chemical hell. I felt so ill I couldn't even manage to say good night to the small people each evening. Bad enough that I couldn't go to tuck them in and read their stories, but I was so blown sideways that they couldn't even come in to see me.
On talking to the, as ever, wonderful breast care nurses it would appear I suffer quite badly from the toxicity that comes with the chemo. It is quite rare (oh lucky me) but it affects ALL my senses - any smell is unbearable, a person talking in the same room as me is too loud, no sitting or lying position is comfortable and so it goes on.
Another trip to hospital, this time to check my cell counts on Sunday evening, as I was still bed ridden five days after my chemo and developing a sore throat and sore glands.
Having berated the NHS in a previous post thanks to some slightly dodgy treatment I have to say that the treatment we, yes we, received this time was second to none. A very attentive doctor who knew why I was there, and had already spoken to Oxford's 24 hour oncology line to get up to speed. Very speedy attention from two nurses both of whom were kind, calm and brilliant at their jobs - one in particular who is so good at taking blood I did not feel a thing and it would appear she certainly took enough - at least 7 vials.
When I say we received amazing treatment, once it had been ascertained in the short term that I was NOT suffering from a life threateningly low level of white cells etc, the doctor was as concerned that Ian was ok as me, the patient. He repeatedly turned to Ian and asked "How are you?" or "Are you ok?" And when he came to give us the results of my blood tests he was all smiles, cheerful and even slapped Ian on the back as we were leaving!! A silver lining to having to spend a Sunday evening in A&E.
I am now on the countdown to the third and final dose of this blend of drugs, with three doses of a new drug to come after that. Once I have got over the side effects from this upcoming dose I really am on the countdown - the number of doses remaining no longer being higher than the number I have completed.
Having seen the oncologist this morning he has decided to modify the doses of two of the drugs I am to receive but leaving the horrid drug at full strength. This is out of necessity as it is THE drug of choice that is the most effective. However, reducing the other two may well lessen the side effects although he lacked conviction when saying this so fingers crossed.
Having been dreadfully negative at the beginning of this post - for which I apologise profusely - I am now feeling alot better having shared the horror. Therapeutic for me. Rubbish for you, the reader. Sorry. Revisiting the awfulness has made it have slightly less impact. Perhaps that is the other silver lining?
Thank you for bearing with me x
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